Jizzing in a chip bag? WTF?!

•February 28, 2009 • 10 Comments

Teen aged boys and their need to jizz, discuss:

900 numbers

Internet porn

magazines

satellite porn

real people fantasies (a girl/boy)

all these things get teen aged boys off. 

I have to back up a little to make the story clear, please bare with me.  The horse whisperer *aka my g.manager at work has a stepson*we’ll just call him  Jizz boy mmkay?* well, he’s a boy who beats to the tune of his own drum, and beats off a lot.  He’s helpful and polite around work (if ever he comes by–*note to self–try to know in advance and choose clothing that is not revealing*) but he causes a great deal of chaos around the house.  He’s 16, but his mental development is lower.  Man, this boy is obsessed with getting off.  I’ve been working at the same place many years, so I’ve gotten to know every one’s  kids, but clearly we hear the craziest stories about this fella.  Sometimes they are more than a little disturbing.  Now, I’ve heard lots of stories over the years.  He’s made hundreds of dollars in phone calls, movie rentals, whatever he can get his hands on.  Mostly, he just likes to touch himself.  Jizz boy MUST HAVE HIS PORN!!

Yesterday’s tale though, oh.my.god. what the hell?

K, one of our install crews was working at the horse whisperer’s house for a couple of weeks doing renovations.  Jizz boy has his own area downstairs with his own mini fridge, microwave, etc.  The guys were there for a while and got to see how he was observe his odd ways.  He tends to leave his socks around.  He uses them for…ack!  blah!  *I’m thinking of names for co-workers as I go along here* Ummm, so one of the guys on crew *we’ll call him Sexyass*, he went to use the microwave in Jizz boy’s area to heat a coffee.  When he opened the door, he found a potato chip bag…only it didn’t have chips in it.  He picked it up…not noticing right away until Papabear said, “is that what i think it is?” yes.  It had–can you believe it?  JIZZ–fuckin jizz.  What the fuck?  This is wrong on so many levels.  Why jerk off into a chip bag?  Why hide it in the microwave instead of putting it in the garbage?  Why why why?  Man, I was laughing so freakin hard I nearly choked.  I just can’t believe it.  What next?  And to have one of my co-workers make the discovery.  Oh my god.           

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Next!

Boom chicka boom boom

I love my sexy superstar sunglasses.  So fun and glam.  I’d like to be somebodies little porn star. 

hairband-003

*you see that little glare?  that’s my bedroom window.  i’m finally getting curtains and a rod that fit!  yay!*

it’s high up so no one can peek in, by the way

I’m tired now.  I’ve been trying so hard to get to everyones posts but alas, I am behind in my reading.  I do hope to catch up tomorrow.  it’s late.  peace out.

loves autumn

HNT#12–Desire Unwrapped

•February 26, 2009 • 24 Comments

Would you like to see a little more pink?  Holla!  I really enjoyed the results of the last photos and decided to take a few more.  I’m not feeling wordy tonight, so I’m gonna just keep it simple. 

While I was looking at these photos (on the computer instead of the tiny camera screen) I decided they were rather interesting to me. Rather than splitting up the set, I decided to use all of them for my month end HNT post.  Hope you enjoy a glimpse into my own desire.

*click please*

*click to unwrap*

Now don’t forget to visit Os!

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Edited:  Regarding Tuesday’s post, I’ve decided to add a couple of links if you’d like to check them out.  Thank you all for the kind words of support as well as the compliments on the post itself. 

I’d like to thank the Academy for this great honour

•February 25, 2009 • 6 Comments

Psssst!  Did you see over here?  I got an award!  It’s my very first and I am so very honoured to accept it. 

I’d like to thank so many people, but I know that time is limited and they may start drowning me out with the music by the time I’m finished, so I will simply thank my family and wonderful friends for being such a great support to me over these last few months.  Thank you so very much!

Here are the rules:“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”

love_ya_award

Is that not the sweetest thing?  So, now comes the linking.  I do hope you will check these fine blogs out because you will find them quite enjoyable indeed.  I know I do.

Cinnkitty, Sexywhispers, MistressM, Nitebyrd, An Artist Exposed, Breve, Vixen, and last but certainly not least, Mariposa.  You are all wonderful and I loves you.  I will make my rounds tonight as I am just on lunch at the moment. 

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So, as some of you know, I am a single mother of 2.  This means I am pretty much always broke.  I received some money yesterday that I had been expecting and it felt so awesome to get all my finances straightened out AND have a little left over to shop with.  I haven’t been clothes shopping in about a year, so I’m pretty excited to buy myself something new, or rather, several somethings.  I was out last evening and tried on 3 pair of dress pants, all size 5, all too big for me.  I don’t own a scale and I have no idea how much weight I have actually lost,  but I’ve gone down to less than ever I thought.  Size 3?  Me?  Holy hell!  I know most people wouldn’t complain about this, but I am hesitant to buy a new wardrobe in such a small size as I can’t imagine it will be this way for long.  I tend to creep slowly up to my average size eventually.  Stress makes me forget to eat.  Now I am feeling better, but am still pretty skinny.  I’ll take it!  Just had to mention it because I was so surprised, no, shocked at this really.  I wil have to take some pics when I’ve chosen something I really love to wear.  I am sooooo excited!  Happy hump day, by the way.  Have a great day.

Autumn gets serious

•February 24, 2009 • 17 Comments

The significance of a warm woolen blanket

It was 24 years ago today when I awoke to find and extra blanket draped over me.  It was thick and warm for the cool winter air, yet the room didn’t feel particularly cold.  It was not there when I went to sleep that Saturday night so many years ago.  The moment I saw it, I understood.  Having reached my 13th year, there was no need to check in on me as I slept, unless…this was the day.  Yes.  The dawn of understanding came to my hazy morning mind.  My mother had died through the night.  Her long, hard battle with Cancer lost.  I had spent months preparing for this moment, but there is no preparation.  We simply go on.

She had been in the hospital that last month before her death.  I had seen her just the day before and knew it was at most a matter of days.  She could no longer speak or anything.  I remember watching her breath and thinking about how she used to look, how she used to laugh, how much she loved me.  I had been moved from our home into that of a family friend’s to start my new life with a new family.  All that emotion, all those feelings I can’t even fully describe to you.   I suppose right then I thought nothing could be better than being able to move in with my best friend and her family.  What young girl wouldn’t find the idea exciting?  I had been going to visit there on weekends for many years and this seemed more natural as going to my father’s house (where I had never lived). 

How strange it all felt.  I got up out of bed that morning with a heavy heart and went to sit on the couch in the livingroom, waiting for someone to talk to me.  There really wasn’t anything to tell me that I wasn’t already aware of, but still I waited for someone to tell me, someone to confirm.  I had just started going to a new school and I remember a boy I had met called me that day to ask what I was up to.  I told him as kindly as possible that my mother had just died and that I was sorry to shock/surprise him like that, but that I wouldn’t be at school for a few days since I had to go away for the funeral and such.  Poor boy.  It must have been difficult to be on his end of the phone.  Funny the things I remember.  Some of my friends knew that my mother was ill but I hadn’t told everyone, of course. 

Over the years, people have asked many of the same questions about these events:

What type of Cancer did she have?  Uterine.  Unusual for one as young as she was.  My doctor asked me a couple of times if I was certain of this.  I tried to get her files from the hospital, but 1985 was a long time ago.  Those records no longer exist.  She was ill on and off for a few years.  We watched her wither and die before our eyes, yet nothing could have torn me away from spending every possible moment with her that was available to me.  Also, the comment I’ve heard the very most would be:  “My goodness, she was so young!”  See?  I’m not old at all. 

How old was she when she died?  She was 38 years old.  Incidentally, I am turning 38 in July.  This year has loomed large in my life  all this time–like some sort of milestone I needed to surpass.  I’m still here, I’m still healthy and able to care for my own 2 children now.

Why didn’t you go live with your father?  Good question.  My understanding then was much more limited.  I remember my father once asking me if I would like to come and live with him, but I think for so long everyone had been telling me where I was going and I thought it was best.  What did I know really?  I spent many years believing he didn’t want me.  I found out just in recent years that there had been fighting, but that it was decided that things would stay as they were.  My brother went there though, so not only did I lose my mother, I essentially lost my entire natural family that day.  Life would be different from that point on.

Has anyone out there lived with another family?  I’m sure I’m not the only one, but can I tell you how totally bizarre it is to adjust to a new family?  Wow!  Being taken into someones home was quite are responsibility.  Expectations were very high.  I was intimidated and lived to please.  This was not a happy home, not what I had been used to.  Oddly, I had been going there for years and still had no idea what it was really like to live there.  It shaped the way I viewed relationships for ever more.  Nothing is entirely bad though, for all the difficult times, I have become so very strong.  I have learned well to be responsible and to take care of myself.  I left their home at age 18 as ready as I could be to begin my own life. 

I often become very pensive during the month of February.  It is never quite the same series of thoughts.  I wrote a post last year in my other blog, but as I read back I see that while it is similar, it’s not the same.  My recent experiences and struggles have made me think of her even more.  Though it can never be, I long for her company.  I long for her words of comfort.  I had a dream once in my early 20’s where I actually saw her face.  It’s the only one I have ever had.  In the dream she walked into the room and I said “hi Mom” like it was the most natural thing in the world.  We spoke about my new relationship (my ex-husband, father of my children) and I asked her what she thought of him.  She said “I don’t know, I’ve only met him the one time.”  Oddly, I had taken him with me to visit her grave just weeks before.  Strange and interesting the way the our minds work, isn’t it?

I have a little card box of letters written by my mother.  They were sent to me by a childhood friend of hers back when I was still in high school.  No matter where I have traveled to in all these years, my letters are always close at hand.  All I have to do right this moment is lean down to retrieve them.  It’s been such a delight for me as I’ve grown up to look at these letters.  To catch a little glimpse of her social life, what she liked to do for fun.  She loved butterflies and had writing paper with pretty ones in the corners of each page.  I have chosen one that I would like to have tattooed on my back in her memory.  I will also have her first initial *A* drawn into it somehow in her very own script.  Dual meaning there, I love that too.

Having said all of this, I am not sad as if it just happened but I do have a deep ache for our mother/daughter relationship that never was.  I missed her at my graduation, my wedding, at the births of my children, but she was there with me.  I thought of  her and how happy she would be.  I miss her most during turmoil.  What a wonderful, sweet, kind woman she was.  She would have been such a great support to me and a loving grandmother to my children.  Oh how she would laugh with them!  I can still hear that if I really pay attention you know.  I carry it with me where ever I go.  I am so grateful for those 13 years with her.  Every part of me, all my core views and morals– they came from her.  She taught me tolerance, empathy and great love.  Blessed am I to have known her.  She is my sweet, sweet angel and I miss her very much.

A brief encounter

•February 23, 2009 • 3 Comments

We only have this stolen moment…

When you drop your napkin at the table and lean to retrive it, you notice my legs slightly open and that I am not wearing any panties on under my short black skirt.  My pussy is exposed to you, glistening with natural moisture.  Intoxicated by this,  you meet my eyes, offer a sly half smile and tilt your head slightly– asking me to step away with you.  I’m wet with the thought and follow as quickly as I can.

We mustn’t be away long.  There are others here that need our attention but we steal away to meet in the restroom.  You arrived just ahead of me.  I glance around before stepping into the room.  You take me in your arms and begin to kiss me so gently, so sweetly that I allow myself to be taken over.  You press my back against the wall and tangle your hands in my hair as your kisses become more urgent.  I busy myself unzipping your pants so I can stroke you–my body feeling electric against yours.

You carefully disengage your hands and bring one down the length of my back, over my curve and around to reach under my skirt.  After running your fingers up my clit, you immediately drive 2 of them deep into my pussy, pushing my ass against the wall, causing a soft low moan to escape my lips.  You lean your head so close to mine and whisper “I love your pussy”.  You kiss my neck, while ramming your fingers into me, then remove them and rub vigorously against my clit–they’re so very slick with my juices. 

Your cock has become so moist with  pre-cum.  You are rock hard–big in my hand.  I hear you sigh as your body reacts to my touch.  I  quicken my pace and tighten my grip.  I have your lips on mine again, your tongue in my mouth and I feel myself begin to quake.  The motion of  your fingers driving me crazy with desire for you.  As if reading my mind, you whisper softly “I want to fuck you baby”–just what I needed to drive me over the edge.  You tickle my ear as you get so close, my body shakes and I begin to cum.  It’s running down my legs, onto your hand and the floor.  *I believe my skirt has been spared.*

You remove your hand and lift me to meet your cock.  I wrap my legs around your hips as you drive it into me hard and fast.  We have to hurry now, we are expected back.  I feel your cock begin to pulse inside me, your fingernails digging and gripping at my ass, then the beautiful sensation of your release.  You press your body up against mine before lifting me slightly to place me back onto my feet. 

I adjust myself, clean the puddle on the floor, go to the mirror and fix my hair then I turn and say: “Mmmm, that was lovely, shall we return to dinner now?”.

Until next time, sweet lover…

Six months and counting

•February 22, 2009 • 2 Comments

I really try and avoid bitching here–I do.   I make a conscious effort not to be negative even if that’s how I feel sometimes.  It’s been 6 months since everything changed.  I read that many of you out there also find change very uncomfortable, so I know you get it.  If you haven’t read way back, my live-in boyfriend *aka the pig* left me.  Please understand that I am much happier now and am adjusting very well to my new circumstance, however, we do live in the same city and could run into one another while out and about.

A couple of weeks ago, I received phone calls telling me that the pig’s facebook status had changed to “in a relationship”.  These people are my friends and are letting me know to protect me from being hurt but all the calls overwhelmed me a little.  Again, if you’ve been following you may know that the pig and neighbor lady *aka the sow* have been spending time together.  Many things have come to light since I first found out about their little friendship, which is now a relationship.  Yep, thats where his car is parked every day. 

Writing this down has absolutely nothing to do with wanting him back.  I am as clear about it now as I was right after he left when I had to choose how far I was willing to go to get him back.  Incidentally, that would be not very far.  I realized quickly that his bite was like a venom to me, that there was no turning back.  Too much had been said and done.  It’s really only been the last 2 months that have been at all normal since he left.  I had to make new living arrangements, got rear-ended by a delivery truck, and my kids went to stay extra with their father.  I had never ever been all alone that way.  I had to learn to deal with that, adjust, trust in my own decisions.

As you know, my confidence and happiness have been growing during these past few weeks.  I am pleased with my progress and I am really enjoying my new freedom.  I hadn’t realized how much of myself I sacrificed to make that relationship work.  And yet, I do hold onto some residual anger.  There are reasons.  If I just didn’t have to have any contact it would be easier.

Some little notes here for the pig–though I know he won’t find me here:

Why call me to ask if sunshine still has her playstation3 for sale?  Call her.  If she doesn’t respond, take the hint.

Why message one of my best girls asking how she’s doing, only to ignore her response when she comments on your new relationship?

DO YOU REALLY THINK THEY WANT TO BE FRIENDLY WITH YOU DUMBASS?

Ok, the call for insurance information last month, I’ll let that one pass.  But to ask me if I don’t let you see my kids because of who you have sex with.  She has nothing to do with it.  That’s just ridiculous.  So I agree that you can take your child here to see mine.

Don’t stand in my entryway lean in and hug me then ask if I would like to go for coffee with you.  Are you fucking crazy?  No, No, NO.   I will not be calling you to go for coffee.  I will not be calling you for anything.  That part of my life is over now.

One last thing, take me off your email list if you are going to do blanket forwards providing me with the details of the last 2’s of what you did yesterday.  National Friendship Week?  Give me a break.  Fuck off with that shit, mmmkay?  Also, no point in asking for your cd’s back.  What’s in my home is staying now.  I listen to them nice and loud in the car, thanks.

Let me heal.

The aftermath for me was a personal journey like no other expeience I have known.  I had never been left before.  What a sudden ending it was.  I am jaded.  I do not wish to let people in as easily, which is my nature.  I am getting bits of therapy right here online to help me feel happy and stronger.  It’s ok that I don’t go out much.  I’ll get past that.  I have great difficulty with kissing.  I really love kissing, but it’s a very intimate thing and I’m just not ready to open myself up to all that emotion yet.  I am actually enjoying being single.  I am loving my own rules.  I am happy I can be there for my friends when they struggle.  Talk to me, I’ll be around.  🙂  Just had to unload a little, thanks for listening.

I’m happy to add that my stint in “relationship rehab” is now over.

 

HNT#11–Tied with a ribbon

•February 19, 2009 • 23 Comments

It was difficult for me to decide what to use for my HNT picture this week. Tricky to match my pink ones I suppose. I had decided to try and take some more pink, but life got in the way and I just didn’t get a chance.

A friend of mine had this box of clothing recieved for his (now ex) girlfriend from an aunt living overseas. He let me raid the box recently and I found the most interesting sweater. If you lay it flat, it’s completely round. It simply wraps around and ties with a thick ribbon. Nice to wear over a fitted shirt and skirt. Now I’m not a huge fan of sweaters, but I do like to be cozy warm, so I took it. During my photo session a couple of Saturdays ago, I had a few items of clothing I wanted to experiment with. This was one of them.

pink-002

*well, I am wearing bright pink undies in keeping with the theme*

i’m always a little late, so say hi to Obasso for me.